Steve likes...

..Sunbeam Imps. Not only does he like them, he actually owns one. His is rotten and rusty and a makes his parents unhappy as the neighbours are convinced they live next door to a family of pikeys. All he needs to go with it is a shagged Zanussi washing machine and an greasy, antisocial Staffordshire Bull Terrier .

This is to cars what a Shetland pony is to the Grand National. It was scrap-fodder when it was new, let alone now. Just put it to rest, Steve. At least that way it can be recycled and turned into a Zanussi washing machine which can the break, thus forcing you to leave it in the garden, resuming your pikey-like status. Plus, you've got a Beemer too, a good car. The phrase "my other car is a Sunbeam" has never been cool.

Seriously Steve? A Sunbeam-pissing-Imp? Get a grip son.

Oh, and make the god-damn tea while you're at it.

**apparently the picture is not correct. I don't care. Hillman Imp/Sunbeam Imp/Dog-bowel processed Pedigree Chum, it's all the same thing...

EDIT *2

This...



...is Steve's actual car. See what we mean?

Yeah, it's still shite.

Buddy Holly...

...didn't die in a plane crash. He just hid for a while, only to come back as Blubber Holly.



Fat git.

Make the tea.

Proof...

...it were needed that Steve is fatter than a fat thing that's been deep fried...



...yeah. We know.

Fat, own-branded-cake-making fatty.

Oh, and make the tea too.

From the mouth of Steve..

...just now.

Seriously, we have no idea what he's on. Anyway, he just uttered this...

"Some friends came round this weekend and we laughed at my belly."

Steve, mate, you're failure of a human being. You suck at life.

Fatty.

Steve...

...has refused to make the tea. This has created much upset in the office because

A) We want tea, and

B) It's his turn to make it.

As punishment for this most gross level of insubordination I'm left with no choice but to tell you that he wears girls jeans and once mentioned that he has a bit of a man-crush on Hugh Jackman.

If you're reading this, Steve, I suggest you make the tea. If not, I'll continue.

Dear Steve...

Make me and Morley one of these...NOW.